a time and a place

I want to live in a world where it's okay not to leave your apartment, where you direct most of your gaze at the television and occasionally out the window. You look at the people who walk on the sidewalk and cross the street. You make up stories about their lives, their destinations and reasons.

You try to gauge what the temperature is like.

You turn back to the wall, the location of an abstract charcoal drawing you made in a beginner art class, a drawing you like but no one else seems to. You put it on the wall to take the blah away. And it worked. It's between the Rothko and the Hopper.

There's you.


Now you glance beside your television. You stack your dvd's there. They seem stagnant and unused. They are. You think that is worth changing. That is worth moving for. You start the movement.

What are you in the mood for?

Something intense, something depressing, something light, something realistic, something relatable. You want to meet characters in the film that you've met in real life. And the minute the movie's over you glance back out your window to see if you can find any of the characters you've been recently acquainted with.

You can't.

Love, Recommended

Letter of Recommendation for my sister, for her domestic partnership visa approval.

"The minute I met Rob I knew he was right for my sister. I tend to shy away from expressing love in clichéd ways, but in their case, nothing seems to embody the essence of their relationship than cheesy love stereotypes. They say that all stereotypes are generated from some ounce of truth, well, I know Rob and Amanda as a couple that could’ve started it all. This knowledge can come from simple observations, like the way she talks about him when he is not around, in a way that makes her seem aware of how over-the-top in love she could come across as if she truly gave in to it, she tries to curb her enthusiasm when she talks about him, an enthusiasm I know is infinite.
I love my sister so much and it makes me happy to see her so happy. Their love is true. This is made evident not only by the look on my sister’s face, but also by the eagerness with which Rob interacted with my mom’s family, a group that can certainly seem intimidating not only based on size, but also because they all spoke a language he didn’t. Here, I see the truth of their love as evident in his actions. I also see the truth of their love as evident in her actions, like moving to a foreign country away from the comfort of her family and friends, everything she knew, all because she was giving in to an unquestionably strong emotion.
I think of the day I met Rob fondly. It was a very simple moment. I knew he and my sister had been dating for a while but I couldn’t even have an inkling as to how serious and real it was going to become. I wish I knew at that moment just how happy this blonde man was going to make my sister, and how much of a staple he would become in our family. Had I known, I would have relished the moment so much more."

I'm proud of it; just like I'm proud of my sister for finding the kind of love I'm looking for at 19 years old.

an essence

I'd Like to Say

There's something I just realized I want to say. I would like to make a statement referring to something's ubiquity. Something super tv-specific. Something only a die-hard fan would get...


...That __________ is as ubiquitous/common as Christian Dior purses in season 3 of Sex and the City.


Should I sprinkle this statement into conversations to see if anyone gets it? Or should I just write it in my blog and never utter it again?

almost 2

I have a relentlessly runny nose. It is approximately 84° in my room. The fan provides some comfort but not enough to dissuade me from procrastinating on sleep. I'm worried it will suck. So, I delay my slumber with a playlist that reminds me of high school, one that consists solely of Belle & Sebastian and Built to Spill. Does specifying the bands I'm listening to make me pretentious? I guess it's a fine line between naively informative and annoyingly pretentious. I am continuously conflicted by this line and tread it on a regular basis.