what they are capable of

It's amazing how much movies affect me. I'll watch a less than mediocre, sappy movie by myself and I will be triggered to analyze my entire story, my life. Myself. relationships. everything. I am affected. I think about what I see on the screen: the fictional memories, the fictional problems and stressors, the fictional people. I apply the fiction to my truth. I apply the fiction to my reality. Immediately I draw conclusions. And I begin to act on them. What should I do? Should I not? Torments and more. This is apparently wrong. So many wrong things. But morality can't dictate emotion. I'm sorry. What am I supposed to do?

what it is

I am jumbled by feelings, by hints of feelings...things that I'm unsure of. There are people I want to talk to...they are not receptive. Something is wrong. There is a strong disconnect in my relationships. I feel and I think and the people don't understand. These people in my life aren't there with me. I wish they were. There is always one thing I am hiding...from certain people. There is a potential hope I can't profess. I think and I feel...I wish they could see each of these. From my point of view. I don't want to hurt anybody. I hate blogs. I want to talk about it. To Oliver, to Jillian. I don't understand and I'm sorry. There is a strong disconnect and I try to be considerate. I still don't understand. Let's talk about it. I'm sorry. Let's talk. I want the combination of our voices to create a balance. How about being on the same wavelength?